Please visit the new Coyote Mercury Blog.

It's even all up-to-date and everything.


Friday, November 04, 2005

Asteroid Headed for Austin?

It seems a likely scenario. We're too far from the coast for a hurricane, and tornado season is still a few months away, so that pretty much leaves asteriods as the only remaining tool with which God can punish the Klan when they rally in Austin in support of proposition two on Saturday. The Supreme Deity apparently used a similar tactic in New Orleans to thwart a gay pride rally, and since God currently seems to be in an it's-time-I-teach-these-little-bastards-a-lesson mode it would be wise to prepare for the worst.

There is debate raging about the best way for Austinites to deal with the odious intrusion of the Klan - moon them as was done when they came here in 1993, or ignore them and go about our lives as Mayor Will Wynn would prefer. Considering the cosmic wrath that could very well come down on the Klan and take out a bunch of well-intentioned mooners as collateral damage, I'm surprised an evacuation order isn't being considered.

I assume, though, that preparations are being made and talking points written to apply that last little bit of spin to the impending tragedy in the runup to Nov. 8:

"God Krushes Klan, Says No to Prop Two"

against the nut jobs who will say:

"God Annihilates Deviant Mooning Perverts, Supports Prop Two"

Personally, I'll be ignoring the Klan. I've seen plenty of morons; I don't need to see them play dress up. Besides, my mind is made up on this issue.

I'll probably just watch the Longhorns use the Baylor Bears to demonstrate the terrible effects of an asteroid impact.

Tagged: ,

1 Comments:

Blogger leo myshkin said...

i understand it 205.46 miles from austin to crawford. i don't think god would take a chance on hurting his right hand man on the planet by smiting austin.

god's probably humming the tune to thick as brick on this one - i really don't mind if you sit this one out.

4:24 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home